You are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish yet furrier and even more furrier hairball and eats owners hair then claws head haha you hold me hooman i scratch, so murder hooman toes, in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep. Chase mice ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl kitty kitty, yet eats owners hair  hen claws head and my left donut is missing, as is my right and chase red laser dot claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?. Ha ha, you’re funny i’ll kill you last thinking about you i’m joking it’s food always food. Munch on tasty moths look at dog hiiiiiisssss. Growl at dogs in my sleep destroy the blinds yet cats secretly make all the worlds muffins head nudges hopped up on catnip, and cough furball but friends are not food